Team of Experts


The nature of our business requires our experts to keep a low profile.

Because we are willing to sell information to anyone, most governments are taking turns trying to kill us while at the same time asking for advice.

Generally, if an issue is of global importance and we think you have a say in the matter, WE WILL APPROACH YOU. We might not immediately indentify ourself as Seismicon. YOU WILL HAVE TO PUT THE PUZZLE TOGETHER. Hints: red rubber clown noses, monster trucks, inflatable water wings, Dionne Warwick.


Perhaps you are an ordinary citizen with no significant role in global affairs. DON'T UNDERESTIMATE YOURSELF. An Average Joe like yourself can quickly become a warrior king in a developing nation. ALL IT TAKES ARE BRASS CAJONES AND A LITTLE ADVICE FROM SEISMICON.

Or perhaps you have built a new Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider but are unsure of how to escape the black hole it will inadvertantly produce. Seismicon will develop the contigency plan for the day when the planet is sucked into a inescapable void in your garage laboratory.


Sometimes you might need to contact us. The best way is to place a cryptic message in the classifieds sections of a major international newspaper (e.g., New York Times, Tokyo Herald). DO NOT CONTACT SEISMICON BY NAME. THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY. All we ask is that you include an obscure reference to some geophysical condition in an otherwise normal ad. Examples:

LOST KITTEN. Calico. One blue eye, one brown. Answers to Frank. Last seen playing in sulfide pools around hydrothermal vent. Contact Myrna. P.O.B. 666, etc.

WANTED. GBM. Hung like rhino. Likes dancing, movies, good food, comparison of quaternary and triassic chernozems. Contact Ned. (666) 666 - 6666, etc.

You can expect an encounter with Seismicon within three to four weeks of placing your ad. If you have not discovered a liason from Seismicon under your car or floating in your soup, you can assume your case has been rejected (we actually investigate your case before talking with you).

home | who we are | free advice | find us | articles
Join the Blue Ribbon Online Free Speech Campaign