DR. THEODORE MANGROVE
Born on August 17, 1960, his father was a Swedish poet from Stockholm and his mother was a Polynesian bush pilot from the island of Moorea. Dr. Theodore Mangrove received his first PhD in Philology from Cambridge University at the age of 16. He received his second PhD in Ancient Greek Studies from Oxford University at the age of 18. He received his third PhD in International Law from Yale University at the age of 20. He received his fourth PhD in Artificial Intelligence from MIT at the age of 22. However, in between his academic studies, he led and varied and busy life.
Dr. Theodore Mangrove was one of the chief idea people behind the invention of the microchip at Intel in the early 1970s. Working on an undercover project for the European Space Agency, he piloted secret test flights of a European space shuttle in the outback of Australia from 1975 through 1977. After the project was cancelled due to budget cut-backs, he turned his attention to cracking the code of the ancient Mayan language, working closely with the archaologists excavating the Mayan city of Tikal in Guatemala. Around the same time, the movie Star Wars was being filmed at this site, and Dr. Mangrove became fast friends with director George Lucas. He worked closely with Lucas in developing the special effects sequences in Star Wars, particular new methods of image compositing. At the same time, he worked as a consultant for President Jimmy Carter, documenting uses of Stinkfoot as a chemical weapon in Afganistan.
His work with Lucas brought Dr. Mangrove to California, where in the early 1980s he was the first to document an epidemic of skunkbite, a phenomenon where supersonic skunks bite people on the legs. In 1984, burnt out on corporate America, Dr. Mangrove went to Brazil and wrote several novels, a book of dirty limericks, and a textbook on hypervelocity. in 1987, he built a bicycle-powered airplane and became the first and only person to fly solo across the Amazon river basin and over the Andes mountains on human power. Crash landing on the ancient Incan city of Machu Pichu, he happened upon the missing link to the ancient Mesoamerican languages. However, Dr. Mangrove claims that the missing link was lost while he was drinking and carousing with pirates off the coast of the Galapagos Islands, and most reputable linguists now discount it as a hoax.
In 1988 Dr. Mangrove moved to Seattle, Washington, where he founded the Dr. Mangrove Institute. The activities of the institute included revolutionary research and activism in the areas of the arts and mass media. Soon, the Dr. Mangrove Institute spread with offices in Los Angeles, Austin, Guadalajara, Glasgow, and Tokyo. The culmination of the Institutes work occurred in 1994 with the airing of a Mangrove Institute television commercial during the finals of the Wimbledon Tennis Tournament. The commercial shocked and confused millions of viewers worldwide, causing ordinary people to suddenly feel absurd and even a bit silly.
After this triumph, Dr. Mangrove turned his attention to relaxation studies. Since 1995 he has been on the island of Moorea in the South Pacific (returning to his roots), where he has been tirelessly and scientifically testing James Thurbers theory that "it is better to have loafed and lost than to have never loafed at all."
Susan Sontag writes that "[Dr. Theodore Mangrove] is at the same time the most brilliant and most absurdly silly man I have ever met." Woody Allen comments that "his vast knowledge and uncanny insights are at once illuminating and nauseating." Calvin Klein observes that "hes a fine dresser for such a card-carrying nut-burger".
Dr. Mangrove now travels the world in a solar-powered blimp, jacking into the internet with a satellite dish and a circuit-bent Apple Newton.
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